On a Sunday afternoon of 2011, I was tremendously proud of myself. I just put down my first poem and it was beautiful in itself. But it didn’t last long

It wasn’t a masterpiece but it sure was mine, something I’ve created from nothing but words and thoughts of my own. I felt pure magic. I was 19, so no surprise that the poem was about love, more like a broken heart.In the course of time I lost that poem (sad I know), but I have this memory burned in my brain still.

Who do you first share your work with? Family. I did the same. It was an innocent fictional poem of a heartbreak, they were supposed to see the work. Instead, I got accused that I have an affair I am hiding from them.

I was reminded of this because I posted a short story, Unreceived Apologies on this blog recently and the response was tremendously positive and supportive. I fail to understand why my family couldn’t see it as my work and creativity rather than a secret I was hiding.

That accusation must have been a mere doubt for them, but it killed the switch to share my work with family forever. No one in my family knows I am writer, or that I have this blog that I am getting good at. I am at a point of not caring for their praise anymore, I found more acceptance in strangers than family and friends, and I believe a lot of people feel the same.

Love,

Grace Anne.

 

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12 thoughts on “Accused for writing

  1. Grace I wish we all could read it. I am compelled to share my views about it as I had and almost everyone has confrontation with parents. However I always kept sharing and putting my views, they need time and space to accept and understand you. When my parents are here it is very strange, my dad and my daughter has a common enemy – that’s me 🙂 . So they bond very well.
    See I would say take time and things will change and don’t make opinions and decisions based on certain incidents. Parents are very caring, worried, possessive and they always wan’t good for their children. See this you will realise when you are a parent too. Parenting has changed esp. in Indian context over all these years. See the degree of freedom and friendship my daughter enjoys today was not the same I had at my time. I always give respect to her decisions. These are a part time ups and downs and will get over soon. After many years you come back to the same post and read itand then you can realize the same and relate to it.

    As you said you get more empathy from strangers then let me tell you that you only get into arguments or scold your own people, you always please strangers. Artists, musicians and similar people know this truth – it is easy to please a million people you don’t know than to please one you know.
    One more point is – consider you are in your 30-40 and you start your blog, you cannot force your children to read or appreciate your blog or follow it, it is altogether a different set of people. I hope you are able to get my point.
    I am sure your parents will like your blog and appreciate your write ups, just go ahead and tell them. By the way a lovely pic of yours.
    Have a good day ahead and May God bless you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do get your point to an extent!! Family does matter the most in some specific areas. They are the ones who you end up sharing you day with no matter what!! But it is also hard to get over the initial reactions of theirs.
      If not your family who will you give second chances to right?
      Family is the most loving thing in the world but also it’s the most hard to love at! But yes we need to give them a little more credit.
      Now I do not agree with pleasing strangers, yes it is easier to impress strangers coz they don’t really have any preconception of you, but we aren’t compelled to be nice to them as well. So the pleasing of strangers is a little bit wrong, we are nicer to them at first, more humble than we are to family, but we do not change who we are for them nor hide our true self. At times you will have to do that with family
      Thank you for the compliment and the thought provoking comment

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I understand what you’re saying, I understand how you felt when your parents were commenting on something else as what you were trying to show. I understand that it feels less vulnerable exposing yourself to random strangers, as mostly those strangers who are captured by what you write will respond. As I am doing now too 😉 In fact, strangers are the greatest friends who I’ve never met before.
    To me, at least how I blog and how my attitude towards it is, my blog is mine, my ideas, my feelings and emotions, my opinions and I am proud of them. People from far or people close to me can either agree, disagree, follow, unfollow, have their ideas, I can’t care much about it. My blog is public for everyone to see and I just share what I think is appropriate and with another opinion great discussions can be started. As the post about the Toilet, I know there are quite some people disagreeing. The post in Dutch gave me some “hate mail” as I was opposing a far right politician.
    So, my real message is, all you write, experience live through, is you and yours alone. Don’t ever let accusations get to you. If there are negative comments or comments you don’t agree with, try to learn from it by also seeing their points to eventually agree or disagree and give arguments for it. But with pride.
    When your parents saw it as hiding something then you know that it was different. You know that. It most probably was you in that age trying to find your way in life independently and topics about love is for you to discover without parents’ help. If that’s indeed the truth from then, then you’re in your uhmm.. right(?) if that’s the right word. So, it’s not about you doing something wrong but about them misunderstanding your point. Okay, I put it a bit black and white without knowing the exact situation and context but just in big lines as in ways of thinking. How I look at it at least for myself.

    I’m happy with all I write, knowing people would disagree (such as my dad as he thinks I am showing too much of myself) yet, I don’t see anything wrong with spreading nuance, hope, and the will to connect people to get a better understanding of each other to make this world a better place. Even if I just “influence” 1 person.

    Keep on writing!!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. That is disappointing…But on the other hand not sharing with your family gives you a sort of creative freedom. I revel in anonymity. People don’t psychoanalyse you when they don’t know you personally. But then I am weird like that. Someday I am going to shed the cloak of invisibility. :p

    Liked by 1 person

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