It’s been days since I’ve written anything down, you must’ve missed me. I missed writing too. Nothing notable happened in the past few days, but today I learned my origin from my mother. I think you’ll find it a interesting story, here it goes…
My mother, blessed with two beautiful kids, decided it was time to get a tubectomy. A beautiful, bright daughter and a handsome son, what else could she have asked for. It was a long wait at the hospital to meet the doctor, and after having told the purpose of her visit the doctor checks her up and throws in a surprise congratulations, you are pregnant. That should’ve hurt.
She told the story in as a neutral tone as she could make, but I know, that if she knew she was gonna get pregnant again, she would have visited the doctor sooner. She said I was the ‘unexpected child’ but why does it sound to me as the ‘unwanted child’
My sister was a surprise too, but she was their first, they definitely loved her the most, still do. Now they wanted another kid, a boy, one of each is all everyone wants. So my brother wasn’t a surprise or unwanted. There was so no reason for a third kid, emotionally and financially they couldn’t afford the third child, haven’t even thought once that there will be a third.
Am I mental to think that my mother may have been disappointed to know I was to be born. She doesn’t regret having me now, but she doesn’t try and hide the fact that for her, my sister will be the kid she always wanted. Tell me diary, am I wrong to think that my existence was a mere accident.
No wonder I always feel lost and disconnected with this family I call my own. DO you remember that picture dear diary, where a little girl is standing a step far from the family of four. I’ve felt that way all my life, like I’ve never belonged. It’s not my mother’s fault or the family’s. It’s just me, me not finding a perfect fit in here, me not being like them, me not being good enough for the family of perfects.
The more stories I hear about myself, the more distant I become from this family. Will I ever belong anywhere? Find someone who I can call family and mean it? Ah! who am I kidding. Luck never favours the unwanted child. I am to be always never belonging anywhere
Holding the diary tight in her arms, she leaned on the window. Almost immediately falling asleep yet failing to stop the tears.
Copyright 2016 Grace Anne
[The above story is a complete work of fiction by me, on the discover challenge of The daily post. This is also a part of series I am working on, you can read the Chapter before it here, do review please :)]