The loud thud of the door slamming against the wall couldn’t distract her gaze deep into nothing. “What is wrong with you?” he said blocking her gaze, didn’t made her blink. “That is your daughter, crying in the other room. How can you be sitting here doing nothing?” he demanded an answer. She sat there glaring onto the floor, with a dead look in her eyes. Having stood long enough to realise she wouldn’t move no matter what, he started walking out, yelling “You are her mother for heaven’s sake, you should be telling her how to deal with this, soothe her. But all you can do is sit like a dead statue.”

Just as he was about to slam the door shut, he heard a whisper, “What did you say?” walking in he asked not expecting her to answer. “I said, what do you want me to tell her?” she raised her dead eyes to him. For a minute he didn’t know what to answer, “I don’t know, soothe her, tell her she’ll be fine, that it’ll be fine.” he answered without hiding any disapppointment in his voice, that he should have to tell a mother what to tell to soothe her own daughter. “So you want me to lie to her!” she replied, in a voice which sent chills through his nape. “What do you mean lie? Don’t you want her to be fine? Do you not think that things will get better and that everything will be fine?”

That brought a laugh on to her lips, small enough to not part her lips but loud enough for him to hear. “Do you think this funny?” he sounded pissed and stood open legged making it very clear that he was done with this conversation not going his way. She raised herself to meet his gaze, gritting her teeth, trying to find the right words, “You want me to lie to her!”

“You want me to tell her that this was mere bad luck that she went through this, tell her that this won’t happen to her again. That she wouldn’t have to worry about anyother guy groping her because this was just one bad guy. That she soon will be over this and will find love and that he will take care of her like a princess like her daddy takes care of her mommy. That soon she’ll even forget something like this happened to her and that everyone will support her get over it.

“You want me to tell her that I am so happy she made it home safe, instead of telling her the truth about how I thanked the gods that she made it out of there with least harm. That she will soon be over this fear of not being in control of her own body when I know for a fact she will get married to a guy who will consider it to be a license to rape her when ever he pleases, just like her daddy. Do you want me to tell her that tomorrow when she walks out the door people will hold banners up in her name admiring her courage while hiding the fact that the few days later people would stare at her to be the victim but nothing more.

“Do you want me to tell her that one day she’ll remember this as an incident that made her brave or that someone will yell through their car window ‘whore you got what you deserved.’ That I should tell her that this won’t define her in any manner or her future where as in fact the world will never let her forget this day by reminding her to be brave or by subtly suggesting that it was her fault.”

Lump in her throat prohibited to speak longer, seeking this as an option he twisted her arm whispering in her ear “Save this feminist lecture for some idiot who’ll believe you were ever anything more than a lying whore. Now get into that room and tell your daughter whatever it is needed to stop her from crying. Do you get me?” twisting her arm even tighter “I said, DO  YOU GET ME?” She denies to respond to that and he shoves her away, forcing her to fall face first on the floor. “What kind of a mother are you? Trying to use your daughter’s pain to get back to me?”

Picking herself up, she coughed up the words “I am a woman before I was her mother, the mother in me wants to protect her feelings but the woman in me wants her to know the truth as it will be” she said placing herself on the chair. “Fine, do whatever the F*** you wanna do. You never were a good wife, it was foolish of me to expect me to be a good mother” he said walking out of the room.

He reached for his daughter’s hand, “It’ll be fine” he said. “It definitely will be fine”, came a voice from behind him. “Mom!” she jumped into her arms, letting out whatever the pain that was buried deep. She held her daughter by her face, looking at those big beautiful eyes, “It’ll all be fine” she said, “This is just a bad day, a bad guy, the only bad guy in your life. If not anything this will make you stronger and everyone will support you do the right thing and get over this. You’ll soon forget about all this and will have a blisfull life my child” hugging her, she pushed a tear back failing to give her daughter the truth. The woman in her screaming that this in 30 years will be her daughter holding her child telling the same lie over and over again.

This is in dedication to all those women who’ve been victims of the mass molestation at Bangalore’s New Year Celebration. Also dedicated to the local women who despite of being mentally ill was gang raped and video tapped and shared via social media on New Year’s night.

Stop teaching women what they can’t and shouldn’t do and start giving them enough support that if they were to be under attack they could come up to you to ask for help without feeling like its their fault for being attacked.



4 thoughts on “Mother picks a lie

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